Think before act?

It always ridicule me how people are unable to make a simple decision. In any case, who's the one to speak? I used to think that I'm the guy who think wisely before act, but I came to realize that I'm just purely afraid of the outcome that I have chosen.

Its not just solely decision, its everything that I did. My speech, movement, thoughts, presence, every air I breathe in; I fear that everything I did wrong would lead to the slightest cue that I like her, eventually causing our friendships. Though I couldn't help but to do it sometimes. Yet, I yearn to go further, to be beyond friendship. Its contradictory, but that's the kind of world I live in.

Typing everything out is the only way I could free myself from lust or attachment. I couldn't express it to myself, yet the sentence flows like a river when I'm actually typing it out. Seems like the internet + computer has replaced my seats of closest friends. I think this is why I'm better of chatting sometimes, and probably why I dislike MSN so much during certain times. Ppl saw the different part of me, the livelier part, or even the emo-er part =)

I'll change, at this moment, that I'll treat her like any normal friend. I won't avoid, I won't reconsider, I'll just do what I'll always do. Everytimes, its just been pure verbal without action. Now its time for action ^^

No one can hurt me. Its only my own thoughts that can hurt myself. With this, I bear myself forwards, towards changes. :P